he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
