I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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