the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
