my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
