I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
