come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
