Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
