need another drink. this is the easiest way
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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