But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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