..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
