I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
