Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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