Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
