that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
