So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
