just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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