Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
