yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
