So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
