we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
