I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
As shirtless as possible
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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