Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
