Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
