people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
