I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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