READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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