I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
