How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he was CRYING into my vagina
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Mom said you looked used
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
