I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
