Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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