"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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