I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
