Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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