All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
