i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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