That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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