he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
