I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am available for nakedness
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
