You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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