Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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