And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
