You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
