pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
