So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
