Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
