the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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