And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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