My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
