every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
