he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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