I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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